The month of April is really getting much hotter here in the Philippines, sometimes I would just imagine I'm in another country enjoying the breeze of wind and the blow of snow. To have a little serenity this one desert like day, I went to my cousin's house, well originally I was supposed to company her in the university where I am currently studying to take an entrance test. The appointment was cancelled and so she suggested me to watch the Japanese TV drama one litre of tear.My friend before has told me about a story of a teenage girl who suffered in an incurable disease. My friend was talking about the Japanese TV adaptation of Aya Kito's diary. One litre of tears, by the title alone it was clear-cut that the show is a heavy drama, and the title alone made us glimpse of emotions in the story.

"To be able to smile and tell everyone this; i have, at least, cried one litre of tears. "

Aya Kitō was a Japanese girl who wrote a diary about her experience with spinocerebellar degeneration disease. Her life story is very inspiring. She was very brave to fight her disease. Aya's character was like a glowing light in a dark arena. She was full of hope .

It was truly heart-rending, the day her parents knew about her disease and it was more remorseless when Aya herself have known her disease. It is truly mortifying to know taht one day you wouldn't be able to walk, eat, talk and wake up...

Why did the disease choose me? I cannot carry it, if it's just for the word "fate".

With these words coming out from her polite lips, crystal tears fell from her eyes. It is truly hard for someone to accept the gruesome truth. As I watched these scene I imagined those people who also have incurable disease and to those people who were just victims and suffer from pain.

I would confess that sometimes I think God is unfair, life is unfair..I thought that there are just things that people don't deserve, I though sometimes why is it that those good people often suffer while others who just don't care and do evil things didn't even have an inch of despair.

Yes, even though I don't have a disease I have questioned, why this kind of life have chosen me?

Purpose driven Life is a book I have read when I was in high school. In that book I have understood life,it's trial's,test, and its temporary assignments. Everything happens for a purpose. Some say if God doesn't do any harm to people then why such accidents and tragedies happen? I say that it is the people who are unfair,it is the people who are shaping its own harm. There are things that we don't understand why it exist, there are situations that sometimes we don't understand why it occurred but one thing is for sure, everything happens for a good reason.

"As I think about the past,the tears will come out.Reality is too cruel, too brutal.I don't even have the right to dream.As I think about the future,the tears will come out again."

I cried and cried for every episode of this TV drama, I felt pity for Aya, she was so good, she was a basketball player in her school and has many plans in the future but the disease took away all her imaginations of the good future.

Some people just took granted of what they have, the family,their potentials and their body, not even thinking that thee are many hopeful dreamers who wished for what they have. In aya's story I have learned to value what I have. Unlike Aya, I can say I didn't have a good memory of the past but I always have a big picture of the future. Every time I reminisce of the past it let my heart tormented.Yes reality is too cruel and brutal and humans are selfish. I think that is why fairy tales and happy endings were written to let people forget the pain and wounds brought by reality, to at least for a little time drift in a world of happiness and gave everyone a chance to continue dreaming.

"I'm glad I came (to Higashi High School again),because it reminded me,the 15-year old me,

was indeed, alive here."

Aya kept on writing her diary even it was physically painful to make it as an evidence that she is alive.

It was heart wrenching to know that a 15 year old was once a blossoming rose but as the sun sets it turned pale. Even though she was only 15, it didn't stop her from living. What really inspires me on Aya is her courage, her courage to wake up everyday and smile top people even though she is carrying a sad letter.She was always alive

"The flower petals are opening up,each one more than the other.The flowers will once again blossom in full glory.Knowing yesterday what will happen to them today,made me happy.""Just that one sentence, 'I won't leave you',encouraged me a lot.Doctor, thank you for not leaving me."

I think everybody needs encouragement. What is wonderful about Aya, she influenced people and encouraged them. When we re down and in deep trials we always hope because there are people who can we count on. yes even just a smile or a single word it will light up the world. Everybody needs someone , because we can't live alone, because we need reflections and a rod that will keep us look straight.

Sometimes people would even create a lie just to take away the pain and keep the light .The whole point is, we care for each other that's why we don't leave someone behind. Isn't it great when we knew those people around us won't leave us . It is one trait of humans we should always nourish and share , standing by our family, friends, partners or even strangers.

I want to build a time machine and revisit the past. If it weren't for this disease, I might even be in love. I want to cling to someone's arm so badly.

This line let my tears overflow again. Everybody is chasing for love and in Aya's situation she seems to think of it as only a dream. I admire Asou , her friend and classmate who turned to be her love interest.

In this world Humans are only actually searching for love, they may do good and evil but in the end of the day they kept on thinking of Love.

There are just times that you want something badly and you are waiting for it patiently but as the rain comes and the sun shines it seems to be not coming. And for sure we knew what it felt like and I think that feeling, Aya felt it too.

* Even though I have been hurt before by those heartless glares this also helped me to understand that around me, there still exists some gentle glares. Therefore, I definitely won't run away. That's what I'll do. Definitely. Always.

I have experienced that sometimes , there are some just glances that seems to be saying they are disgusted and I it felt so bad. When people see something unusual they would look straight to it, stare to it so deeply. But sometimes people don't know that these glance are hurtful. Yes it is true there are some glances that are kind and we knew from the heart that they want to help us .Aya was so strong to keep on smiling to them and just ignore their eye's judgements. It was grateful that Aya was smart and understanding.

* People shouldn't dwell on the past. It's enough to try your best in all that you're doing now.

Yes this is absolutely true, we shouldn't prison ourselves in the past. Yes there memories of the past that could haunt us but we should let those experiences be a teacher on us. There are also memories in the past that are worth remembering and we should let it remind us of happiness. Past already existed, it is already written and we can't do anything from it but today and tomorrow we could do the right thing. Today and tomorrow make the best out of it because sooner it will be a memory and isn't that great to always remember good things? We need to keep moving forward.

* Where should I head towards? Even if there isn't answer, I'll feel better by writing it down. I've looked for a pair of helping hands but I couldn't feel them, couldn't see them. I only face towards darkness and hear hear the sounds of my hopeless screams.

Writing was the only ability that keep Aya living. And no matter how hard it was for her she used all her strength to write down what she felt and thought.

"Just being alive is such a lovely and wonderful thing."

* If you look up at the sky after falling down the blue sky is also today stretching limitlessly and smiles at me...I'm alive.

I think this is a line that most people forgot to recognize. To breath everyday is indeed a wonderful thing.To enjoy God's creations is a wonderful gift.

It is sad to know that there are people who don't value life, after watching aya's story it made me realize how blessed I am. I am blessed because at 15 I was able to do things that I can. I am blessed because i have my legs, my arms, I could walk, run, write and post a blog. I am blessed because like Aya I have my family and friends. I am blessed because like aya , God is with me.

It is also sad when I see people doing all those vices that could damage their health, yes they enjoyed it for a night or a day or a week , a month and more years but it will bring darkness to them in a lifetime. I just couldn't understand why people abuse what they have. I mean we could enjoy the pleasures but there's no need to over do it. Are we that selfish? we can't get contented of enough? but is enough , enough for them? It is so sad that they couldn't think that when they got those disease it is their loved one who will suffer more. It is so sad that they couldn't appreciate time. Aya was afraid of time , because she knew anytime something is gonna happen. Why is it then , there is Aya who loses her dreams yet continue to strive and why is then other people who has everything and yet keep on throwing them. Life is beautiful and the sand grain is turning to ashes. What a wonderful world we have. Let's enjoy it , we have a lot of time to do good things. Life is yours don't waste it.