Who am I in my past life?

It was a rainy afternoon when my siblings have a not so serious conversation about our future. And I have this brother , our only brother, who was saying that he knew who we were in our past lives.
This brother of mine is going to proceed in Law and I must say he really has a tongue. He can be a great story-teller. We often debate on ideas and philosophies , well I studied psychology and we always have contradicting opinions.

Interestingly , I want to hear on my story on my past life. Well before that , he had made some predictions on our future . In fact he predicted that my sister is going to marry an american guy and my sister , eventually did. He was actually right on some of his little predictions on us. I don't know he does it but he is so convincing.

So moving on , this is my story in my past life according to him.

I was born in mainland China. I was the only child and my father was a merchant while my mother was a housewife. My family has a simple life and we were satisfied about everything. I mostly stayed at home , assisting my mother. But there came a very unfortunate event , my father was robbed and killed.

With out any choice my mother raised me alone. She didn't knew about livelihood so instead she married an older man. But living with a step father and knowing that my mother will never loved him made me mad that I ran away from home.

And there being like a stray dog , I walked on the streets with no shelter. Then I worked on circus-like ( in which in this time , according to my brother has no religion or God) and I have made friends with some gypsies and some thieves. And I became just one of them , stealing bread and loaves and was an ultimate outcast. But later on I have realized the hardships of my father , I have thought about my mother and that I want to get away from living like a rat.

I went home to return and  ask forgiveness from my mother but it was too late , she was dead long ago by the whipping and beating of his husband. It was tragic , I never have held her hand before she died and i never thanked her for keeping me alive.

Years after her husband died too who had left a great fortune and I was entitled to them. But I have a step sister , the legitimate child , and she doesn't want any of the fortune to be shared with me.

I fought for my right , sought help to the government but the government have favored her . The government have done nothing but collecting and keeping the money of the people. What else to do my step sister has golds , she can buy their decisions. I was furious about what happened. On how unfair society and the government was. On how the outcast were treated. I was heading a revolution a bloody revolution.

The Government were trembled and there I was having an encounter with my step sister , she was begging for mercy but I was ruthless and so I beheaded her. And through the encounter of the soldiers , I died. I died with so much pain in the heart. I died without any lover , I died without being loved and had never loved a man,

And my brother told me that , the reason I was reincarnated was that because in my past life all I have been suffering and pain. And that is why I lived again to understand and experience happiness.

It was a short explanation but truly it was meaningful and honestly I kinda believe it. Many times I have thought that I was not meant to live to be happy but was meant to live to sacrifice and be in agony. That sometimes it is hard for me to be happy because it seems that I am so used in loneliness.And honestly I felt like I was never  to loved anyone (romantically).t is just sometimes I can not introspect.

And probably yes, I was meant to be reinvented to experience happiness. Well most people thought I am a happy person because I always smile and seems to have no worried but deep inside I am crushed with sorrows,

I asked my brother how he knew who I was and what was my life , He said he had this natural talent that he can see things from the past. And he said if he was lying he would have stuttered telling the story but he didn't and he was so confident. But still I was thinking he could have thought of it earlier. He's just a quick thinker.

But whether my brother was only telling me a good story or not , I can say that we are all given second chances to fulfill a life .

The idea of reincarnation always intrigues me. I have to say , yes I partly believed it. Sometimes it just felt like we have lived before. Have you ever met someone and suddenly you just felt that you knew that person very well and you have met him/her somewhere? Well I have felt that many times. I always asked my self what have I done in the past that caused me to be living like this?

Well I know it may just be a feeling but it is really a mystery. Well in the book of Paulo Coelho "Brida' well I have not finished reading the book but I have read some parts of it. It was about the reincarnation of two lovers ( a mage and a witch craft). As I was reading those parts although it is a fictional novel it seems so real.

I was asking my self, what if there is actually no hell but God give us second chances and that Hell could be actually the earth. that we are reinvented until we become the perfect form. Well, I really don't know much about reincarnation , so anyone could post a comment here and share to me about that philosophy. So who were you in your past life?

Whoever I was and whatever I have experienced in my past I could not remember it .What matters now is live in the present and make the most out of it...To experience Happiness..

S.M.Y (2012)