Healing Hearts

Gloomy skies are up above…..little rain drops pass by…..tears is climbing down …

Silent strings soothes down while the cold air sings and petals of roses lay down….

Today was the last day of glimpse to her beloved mother....There was this boy who was like the clown of the class; he is indeed smart, always positive and cheerful. Sad news broke his heart last year; his mother is diagnosed with cancer. We we're not close friends but everyone seem to like him because of his blissful spirit. Today who could’ve thought the boy who has the biggest smiles is now crying like a child losing his kite......

We never thought he was in a painful process, no marks of worries or pain on his fragile face but only a light ray of happiness.....

I could emotionally relate to whatever he is going though, It was also summer when my grandma was hospitalized.....and also in month of June my grandma passed away....It was like 4 years ago, but the pain didn't totally vanished, in my dream it kept on recurring the times that she was by my side, the times when I hugged her tight and the times she says those nice words...

To me she was like a second mother, she made me feel I belong to the family; she kept on saying that I will be a doctor and will be a very beautiful woman... She never forgets my birthday, she praises me when I do good things and even give me rewards. These things are little things of everything to me.........These things are simple things that my own parents never let me experienced. and that's why I treasured so much the times that I have spent with her........I was like also in 2 months at the hospital...Together with my cousin , I was her caretaker...And witnessing her suffering just tormented my heart away...hoping that I could take away all the pain. Even trading places with her was my wish just to end the anguish....

And maybe this was also the situation for him....Losing a mother is like losing one organ of your body....I understand how painful it is but I know I will never know how painful it is for him....

Isn't it too early?? Isn’t it unfair?/.....Before I questioned why those good people suffer so much, why do they have to suffer before they die??Can’t they have tranquility before they depart?........But now I am thankful for that opportunity...seeing my grandma suffering allowed me and my relatives to show to her how much we care and love her....allowed us to feel human and experience life,, allowed us to realize the significance of time......with those moments it taught me a lifetime learning...It gave me hope and loved life....

I know it won't be easy. It takes days, weeks, months, and many years to be OK and fully accept what had happened.....It will never be the same again....

All the good things they have done will always be remembered, the scar will always be a mark of how special they are and how they've changed our lives....

When someone is in grief, a friend cams by and gave a big hug...and I think that is the most wonderful part, knowing that you are not alone and there are people who cares so much about you...

I want to share this song by Josh Groban......It left me with tears.......

Who can say for certain

Maybe you’re still here

I feel you all around me

Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness

I can hear you speak

You’re still an inspiration

Can it be (? )

That you are mine

Forever love

And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile to know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

Are you gently sleeping

Here inside my dream

And isn’t faith believing

All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you

Just one beat away

I cherish all you gave me everyday

’cause you are mine

Forever love

Watching me from up above

And I believe

That angels breathe

And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up

To where you are

Beyond the distant star

I wish upon tonight

To see you smile

If only for awhile

To know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

I know you’re there

A breath away’s not far

To where you are

We may not see them physically but we knew they are embracing God's hands and we knew they are still watching us...To where they are now; we will always love and remember them...

May all hearts be healed and all souls be in peace.......

God bless!

Airplanes of May

It's been like a month since I've posted on my blog.This one was actually written in days of May...I still want you to share my thoughts  on these.

These past few days, I was overwhelmed by unfortunate events........

Yes, I was coated with hatred and misery ....asking life , why shouldn't it be me??

There are things that just flowed and swallowed us, I've accepted it and it made my bones stronger.......There are things that are very gracious, very tantalizing and it didn't approached you, it turned you back.....and asked why ??

I'm going to share to you this song.,....it really inspired me and made me felt better.....

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now, a wish right now, a wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now, a wish right now, a wish right now

*Until now I've always waited for shooting stars and still hoped that there will be a little spark of miracle.

We all have wishes and desires, and we badly seek for it....

We even come up with a genie in a bottle that will give us three wishes......

We adore how it remains in our subtle chimera and

 we enjoy how we kept on waiting for the day of its reality.

I could use a dream or a genie or a wish

To go back to a place much simpler than this

Cause after all the partying and smashing and crashing

And all the glitz and glam and the fashion

And all the pandemonium and all the madness

There comes a time when you fade to the blackness

And when you're staring at the phone in your lap

And you hoping but them people never call you back

But that's just how the story unfolds

You get another hand soon after you fold

And when your plans unravel in the sand

What would you wish for if you had one chance?

So airplane airplane sorry I'm late

I'm on my way so don't close that gate

If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight and

I'll be right back at it by the end of the night

* what is it like when you are already on the cloud 9 of your dreams.? what is it like when you have a ll the fame and fortune....I know it won't feel good at all....We need to pay the prize...I do aim high but at the same time I keep on thinking and reminding myself that fame, fortune, those deceiving lights,sweet words,and traitor claps they can pull you down and eventually leave you on despair. The lyrics of the song is very true, could we wish for more ? when curtains fall and you see your shadow weeping in the center stage, what would you wish for? Would you wish for time to spin back? or would hope that these life you've inced wished for would just vanish like a candle being blown?

Yeah somebody take me back to the days

Before this was a job before I got paid

Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank

Yeah back when I was trying to get a tip at Subway

And back when I was rapping for the hell of it

But nowadays we rapping to stay relevant

I'm guessing that if we can make some wishes outta airplanes

Then maybe oh maybe I'd go back to the days

Before the politics that we call the rap game

And back when ain't nobody listened to my mix tape

And back before I tried to cover up my slang

But this is for Decatur what's up Bobby Ray

So can I get a wish to end the politics

And get back to the music that started this shit

So here I stand and then again I say

I'm hoping we can make some wishes outta airplanes

*I know there will come a moment in which we to make our choice. But whatever choices we make, we should not regret on it but instead face whatever are the consequences. Choices may make you blue, but with a Strong Faith and blissful spirit this once wrong choice could end up right. We may be stuck in an awful maze but we shouldn't allow ourselves to be caught up...instead we need to find the way, bewildering it may be, but we need to try to find that exit and could finally get a new start.

There is no rewind button, pause nor fast forward......all we can do is face it and get it fixed.

This was once my thought.....

I wanna run.but where??? I wanna crawl and hide but where's the haven?I've been asking myself why I don't get happiness? what does really make me happy?? just before , just in a seconds ago I was so blissful and sunny and suddenly when the doors shutdown I become gloomy and dark feather

Sometimes I want to be numb.I want to feel nothing....But this is reality.It is painful and no matter how hard i try drifting my mind to my own utopia....there is always a pinch of reality.....and I can't escape it.....

I'm facing it but I'm trembling on it....I admit I am weak and only God can carry all the pain inside me.......

I've been childish.....selfish..........I've been counting the blessings I have......But actually what matters to me is the respect that people will give to me.Sometimes it is heart wrenching to make fool of yourself just to put a smile on a frowning face. . And I hate myself for being unfair to me.......For being coward and just accepting those things.but what can I do???? that's all I can do....

Do we have the right to question????? when we knew that everything will be settled in the right time.

I've been patiently waiting and sometimes I got tired of it.....but should I give up on dreaming??? I don't know...We can't get what we always want......

I know for sure God sets the right time for us......